It was always the hard moments. Circumstances of my past had led to a deep need to control as I walked into womanhood. When I could smoothly operate my personal sphere of influence, I was the one who benefited. If I could sway the majority opinion, I felt at ease. Having to control arose from the fear and uncertainty that came with living.
I realized that when I tried hardest to influence others with my hidden agendas, nothing healthy or meaningful came from it. Strained relationships continued, unmet goals were dashed, unanswered prayers never came to be because I was guilty of frustrating what God had in store for me. I’m learning that the need to remain in control is spiritually draining.