I grabbed my art equipment and headed for the door. My hubby stood over the sink, washing dishes. I kissed him, and silently paused just to watch him soaking the soiled plates. The moment was sacred. He was doing the dishes so that I could live a dream and he was happy to do it. So many times, I have walked out the door, on way to a radio interview, or a woman’s meeting and hubby has taken care of the floors or dishes.
Six years ago, I was in a car accident which affected my neck. Easy tasks for some are not easy tasks for me but my hubby tackles the vacuuming, the ironing and he folds the freshly washed underwear. Years before we were married he worked in a clothing store so he knows how to fold perfectly, it makes my day to have freshly folded undies in my drawer.
All of these beautiful realities of our lives would not have been possible had we not both believed in the principle of equality in marriage.
Where I am stronger, I boldly lead. Where he is stronger, he helps, he aids and he settles the fires that can burn out of control especially in ministry. We help one another and boldly place the Messiah as the head of our home. Our testimony and our scars have borne witness to the equality that we have been given as children of God. We never hesitate to love and serve one another, even in our imperfections, of which we have plenty.
Recently my husband and I were traveling home from organizing from my book launch. While we were driving my husband who is an avid cyclist turned and said, “you’re the team leader, we gotta set the pace.”“What does that make you?” I said with a smile. “I’m your domestique” he replies.
In cycling the domestique rides for the team leader, he or she fetches the water bottles and sets the pace at the front of the bunch if the team leader is leading the race. The domestique will even give his or her bicycle to the team leader if there has been a crash and this helper will always nurse the team leader and care for his or her well – being during the race, it’s a ride of sacrifice, willingly. It’s amazing to watch how this works in a cycling race and I was amazed at my hubby’s words, to me they were life – giving.
You have always been my Helper. Don’t leave me now, don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! (Psalm 27:9 NLT)
In our fixation with the Genesis story and the helper named Eve, we have forgotten the many scriptures that show men as helpers, children as helpers, and even God Almighty, the Warrior King as our very present Helper in every trial.
This does not imply that a helper is weak or less than another, it implies that there is a relationship of love, of sacrifice, of tender care and concern. We have chosen this walk for our marriage, a walk of equality and service as we cycle together on the road of life.
I stand up and speak in front of others because, in the quiet of my darkest hours, my husband has helped me battle my fear of public speaking. I continue to press into writing even in the face of doubt because my husband encourages me.
God knew what He was doing when He joined us together, with a smile He knew we both needed a suitable helper.
Aliyah Lauren lives at the edge of Africa, where two oceans collide. She believes in the power of the circle called women and believes in empowering women to boldly follow the untamed Roar of Christ. She is an author whose latest novel Yehudit Chosen by God, recently won the Desmond Tutu Award for the best South African debut Christian novel of 2017.
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& Via Her Website www.laurenjacobs.co.za